Beatles Interview: Abbey Road Studios 6/5/68

JOHN: "So, we better turn the guitaring down a bit, little. So, Kenny, how are you goings?"

KENNY: "Oh, it's wonderful. Listen. First a few questions, then I'd like you to sing me a jingle. A goodbye jingle."

JOHN: "Okay, a goodbye jingle."

KENNY: "What can we expect from you in the next few months? I've heard you're working on it."

JOHN: (comical whisper) "Alot of brown paper bags, Kenny."

KENNY: (laughs)

JOHN: "We're working very hard on that at the moment, the boys and me."

KENNY: "Anything tuney?"

JOHN: "Oh yeah. There's alot of tunes we've found in the bags, actually."

KENNY: "I got told that you don't actually come in here with the idea of doing an album-- it just sort of 'falls out' at the sessions."

JOHN: "Mmm. Well, we have a vague idea, you know, Ken."

KENNY: "Yes."

JOHN: (strumming and singing) "'As I was only saying the other day-- we have a vague idea, but very vague-- What's up? Very vague.'"

KENNY: (laughs)

JOHN: "Just a bit of laughter, ladies and gentle-phones."

KENNY: "Have you done any actual complete numbers?"

JOHN: "No. We're halfway through the second uncomplete number now."

KENNY: "You don't actually do them whole complete, finish with them, and then start another one?"

JOHN: "See, we got to a stage with one where the next bit is (additional) musicians, so we'll have to write the musicans' bit. You see, you see."

KENNY: "Do you ever get to, umm-- you've done your bit and you decide it would be good on its own, and then forget the musicians?"

JOHN: "Oh yeah. Yeah."

KENNY: "Yeah."

JOHN: (slide guitar and singing) "'Somebody stole my gal/ Somebody stole my pal.'"

KENNY: "Can you sing me a goodbye jingle? It doesn't have to rhyme or anything."

JOHN: (slide guitar and singing) "'Goodbye jingle/ Goodbye jingle goodbye/ Goodbye.'"

(laughter)

KENNY: "Wonderful. (laughs) Are there any particular records at the moment..."

JOHN: "Oh yeah, let me think-- Nilsson. One of Nilsson's."

KENNY: "Which one, particularly? As you know we've played quite a few of them."

JOHN: "Yes. Oh, let me think, Ken, for the moment. Uhh... 'River Deep Mountain Dew.'"

KENNY: "Yeah?"

JOHN: (strumming and singing) "'When I was a little baby my mama used to SMASH me in the cradle/ Pickin' those old cotton fields back home/ When mama was a little bitty baby she used to SMASH me in my cradle/ When I was a little bitty baby back home.'"

KENNY: "That was impressario John Lennon playing for you. And now, a few words from him."

JOHN: "Enzay cuzum dadey stobidacho, Charlie. Masik consip. Wezamarchi chewano wita tomata tawiaty. Wertum moriaty conan dia. Kenny Everetto, M B E."

KENNY: "So that's what India taught you?"

JOHN: "Exactly."

KENNY: "Did you come back with anything incredibly fantastic?"

JOHN: "Yes. A beard."

KENNY: "Yeah. I met Donavon the other day on a show, and he looked a little better for it."

JOHN: "Yes, it was very healthy, you know."

KENNY: "I got a photograph of you in the Daily Mirror standing in a sheet. You look very peaceful."

JOHN: "That's called a benuse, Kenny, and I got it from Moracco." (laughs)

KENNY: "Really?"

JOHN: (jokingly) "Standing in a sheet-- What do you mean?"

KENNY: "It looked like a sheet."

JONH: "Well they do. Benuses look very, very like sheets, see, so the lower classes in Moracco don't feel too put out-- having only the sheets to wear."

KENNY: "Do you have anything to say about anything you've recorded so far?"

JOHN: "We've just done two tracks, both unfinished. The second one is Ringo's first song that we're working on this very moment."

KENNY: "He composed it himself?"

JOHN: "He composed it himself in a fit of lithargy."

KENNY: "And what do you think about it?"

JOHN: "I think it's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard since Nilsson's River Deep Mountain Dew. (strumming and singing) 'Kenny Everett/ It's the Kenny Everett show.'"

KENNY: "Are you composing this straight out of your head?"

JOHN: "This is ad nausium-- straight from the mouth that bit me."

KENNY: "I don't know how he does it, friends."

JOHN: "Neither do I, friends. He's sitting here cross-legged on the amplifier, strumbling away. I hope we're gonna hear this, listeners, because we have alot of fun doing 'em, but never quite hear them, listeners. Never quite hear them when you get home."

KENNY: "Well, I will play this completely, all the way through, just for you."

JOHN: "Right."

KENNY: "What kind of guitar is that? It's very strange looking."

JOHN: "A fretless guitar."

KENNY: "How's business with Apple?"

JOHN: "Oh, it's... I mean, what can I say? I couldn't ask for any more tapes, or bits of paper."

KENNY: (jokingly) "They won't get that, either. But still..."

JOHN: "So, wonderful radio wonders...!"

KENNY: "Ask me a few questions."

JOHN: "Okay, Kenny. What are you doing?"

KENNY: (pause) "Well, at the moment, I'm having a daily show come on soon."

JOHN: "Really? So they haven't sacked you? I was getting you a job with the Isle of Man. I put in a word for you with Ronald Manks."

KENNY: "If you were stranded away on a desert island, what one grammophone record would you take with you, excluding the Bible and Sgt Peppers for obvious reasons."

JOHN: (laughs) "One grammophone record? Uhh... (pause) It hasn't been made yet."

KENNY: (laughing) "You don't think there's any records worth taking?"

JOHN: "Not all the way to a desert island."

KENNY: "When you produce something of such high standards as your last album, don't you think that you've really got to strive to produce something a bit better?"

JOHN: "No. It only got high because everybody said how high it was. It's no higher than it was when we made it."

KENNY: (laughs) "Yes. There are hidden meanings in that one, ladies and gentlemen."

JOHN: (comical voice) "No. What I mean, Kenny, is that it doesn't pose a problem. It was so long ago we've forgotten what it was about anyway. And let me put it this way..."

(long silence)

KENNY: "That's it? (laughs) Hey, listen. You were saying, last time I met you, that you hadn't really had a chance to listen to Sgt Pepper because you'd been so busy making it."

JOHN: "I don't think I ever did listen to it, since we made it, properly. I heard bits of it. I mean, I played it just after we made it, and that's it really. (laughs) But I like to hear it on the radio."

KENNY: "Alright, shall I play it?"

JOHN: "Yes, that'd be nice."

KENNY: "Ladies and gentlemen, Sgt Pepper!"

JOHN: "Mmmm."

KENNY: "Do you think Paul and you could do a duo-harmony jingle?"

JOHN: "Well, you'd have to get him."

KENNY: "Paul? Can you come and do a goodbye jingle?"

PAUL: "Oh! Why, sure Kenny!"

JOHN: (strumming and singing) "'Goodbye to Kenny Everett/ He is our very pal.'"

PAUL: (singing along) "'Jingle, jingle. Very pal. Jingle.'"

JOHN: (sings) "'Goodbye Kenny Everett/ And old Mount Everett, too.'"

JOHN AND PAUL: (singing) "'And it's a goodbye rousing cresendo!'"

KENNY: "Thank you, John. Thank you, Paul"

JOHN: "Wonderful."

PAUL: (giggles like singer Tiny Tim) "Ooo-hoo."

JOHN: (excitedly) "Play Tiny Tim! That's what you gotta play! Tiny Tim! He's the greatest ever, man! You see if I aint right, Kenny Everett! He's the greatest fella on earth! Play Tiny Tim, gentle-readers."

KENNY: "Tiptoe Through The Tulips."

PAUL: "He's real."

JOHN: "He's real, man. We saw him."

PAUL: "I mean, he's good with it. It's like-- it's a funny joke at first. But it's not, really. It's real and it's true."

JOHN: "He's great. (sings) 'Tiny Tim for President/ Oh, Tiny Tim for Queen!'"

KENNY: "Thank you, Ronald."

JOHN: (to George) "He'd like to interview with my cohorts for a following few month show."

GEORGE: "What is it?"

JOHN: "The Kenny Everett Show."

GEORGE: (excitedly) "Oh, great! Well, it's nice to be on the air again! Beatle George speaking from the EMI Studios."

PAUL: (Tiny Tim giggle) "Ooo-hoo!"

KENNY: "It's my last show next week."

GEORGE: "Is it? Got the sack, did you?"

RINGO: (pounding on drum and singing) "'Goodbye Kenny, it's good to see you back/ Goodbye Kenny, we hear you got the sack!'"

GEORGE: "You've got an LP, there."

(laughter)

PAUL: (Tiny Tim voice) "Ooo-hoo, it's nice to be here!"

KENNY: "Okay Henry, wrap it up."

PAUL: (American accent) "Goodbye Kenny, and thank you for all you've done for us in the past."

KENNY: "It's been a pleasure."

PAUL: (American accent) "You're wrong, Kenny. It has NOT been a pleasure!"

JOHN: "Repeat-- Not! N, O, T, O!"

KENNY: "Give us a rousing chorus of 'Strawberry Fields Forever' in jazz tempo."

JOHN: (singing) "Strawberry Fields Forever... cha ch-cha cha!"

PAUL: (singing) "Let me take you down... pah pah, 'cuz I'm going to-- ahh! Strawberry Fields-- ahh! Nothing is real."

JOHN: "Ho-hay! Hep me!"

PAUL: (singing) "And nothing to be going with!"

JOHN: "Hoop-hay. I tell ya, pooo-ahhh!"

(laughter)

KENNY: "That's the end. Let's go out like that!"

(the tape speed switches to chipmunk voices)

JOHN: (yells) "What speed is it?!!"

KENNY: "Seven and a half."

JOHN: "Oh, you crumbs!"